Things no one told me, or I didn't listen to, about pregnancy.
So I was writing a letter to my best friend who
is on her mission, & thought to myself that I should write her a list of
things about pregnancy that I didn't know... or didn't listen to. Things I
would've liked to know beyond the fact that you get sick, gain weight... the
common knowledge stuff. I told her to keep it so she can look back over it when
the time comes. I read it to Gabe & he told me to put it on here. He also
said that he should write a list of things he didn't know about pregnancy. He
started listing things. It was pretty funny.
1. Morning sickness doesn't just happen in the
morning.
2. Morning sickness lasts longer than 2 or 3
days.
Ha! If I had let him continue, he would've
written a book... he only finds out things as I tell him. At least he knew I
would get a belly & gain weight! & that pregnancy means a baby. & he
knows where babies come from. So really, he knows the important stuff. He was
actually happy I wrote this list & wants a copy of it to read so that he can
see what I'm thinking & going through. He's fully aware that he'll better
understand me by reading what I write. I think I may be more honest in my
writing than I am vocally.
I'm 3 weeks short of being halfway, so my list
isn't as extensive as it could be if I was writing it at 39 weeks. But there are
still 60 things on it. In the letter I said that I would continue to add to it
as time goes on, so if you have anything to add, please let me know! I'd love to
add it.
Now. Some of these are pretty personal. But I
don't care. & this is not for your judgment either. There's no need to make
fun of me, call me a pansy, or tell me to grow a pair. If you do, I will not
react in a kind or happy manner. You have been warned. Also, keep in mind that
this was written for a friend. So I wrote it as if I'm speaking to her.
THINGS NO ONE TOLD ME, OR I DIDN'T LISTEN TO, ABOUT
PREGNANCY.
1. Growing a human is exhausting!
2. You haven't known "tired" until you get
pregnant & morning sickness kicks in. Then it's never ending. (I can't
imagine doing this with kids... or having multiples. Oh dear.)
3. People will insist on giving you advice...
& you'll want to tell them to shove it. Just nod your head & pretend
you're listening. Just remember, you're pregnant, so you can walk away whenever
you want, even if it's rude! =P (I realize this is kind of advice, but I'm a
wonderful, knowledgeable, honest person that gives good advice. =] )
4. If your period was more than a couple of
months before you got pregnant you have to have an ultrasound to date the
pregnancy. I was given 3 different due dates before I hit 10 weeks.
5. If you get pregnant with an IUD in place,
sadly it probably won't be a good pregnancy & it will miscarry.
6. Miscarriages are emotionally hard whether
you're 4 weeks or 12 weeks. But it's probably a million times harder when you've
had more time to "bond" with the baby inside you.
7. Not having a period is nice, but your body
more than makes up for it in other punishments far worse than bleeding for a few
days every month.
8. Morning sickness is not exclusive to the
morning. ( I did know this. But I had a nice reminder than it can last
ALL day.)
9. It is also not exclusive to the first
trimester.
10. You'll want to throw up because it will
probably make you feel better. I love throwing up when I'm nauseated...as weird
as that sounds. & now when I wake up nauseated, I actually hope for it &
look forward to it... that is if my Zofran can't beat it.
11. Prenatal vitamins will probably make you
even sicker than you already are. But there is hope! You can switch to a gummy
prenatal (which is easier on the belly), or take 2 Flinstones vitamins a
day.
12. A lot of women find it best to take their
prenatals before bed, or at dinner time because then they end up sleeping
through the sickness. That didn't work for me. I always got sick within 12 hours
of taking it, & if I was asleep, it would wake me up to barf. At least
before I switched to the gummies. Everyone's different I suppose!
13. You'll get good at identifying nausea days
as opposed to throw up days. I much prefer throw up days to 24 hour
nausea.
14. Eating new, or different things (like
Indian) is probably a bad choice cause it may make you sick. I learned the hard
way.
15. You'll get sick at the most inopportune
times.
16. Even the most menial task, like checking
the mail, seems never ending.
17. Hormones screw with absolutely
everything!
- Vision changes. I had no idea the eyes would have problems! My vision is way blurrier now & it takes extra effort to focus, which causes more headaches, which in turn, makes my eyes worse. Vicious circle.
- Hair growth. It's faster & harder to tame...everywhere.
- Mood swings. (More on that later.)
18. More than likely you'll be less than loving during your first trimester. I didn't even want to cuddle.
19. Don't assume it will take months to get
pregnant. I was pregnant in less than a week. & I have friends that it's
taken over a year for. You never know.
20. You'll look forward to your belly looking
like a baby bump cause there's a long in between stage where it just looks like
you're gaining weight. Now that I think about it, this may be a reason some
girls stop trying to hold in their bellies & they just push it out.
21. You don't have to be big & pregnant for
heat to make you miserable. It's a hormone thing. I make Gabe stay way on his
side of the bed cause he's a radiator, & I kick off the covers, & I'm
still sweating when the AC is set at 68.
22. Just because you peed every half hour
before your appointment doesn't mean you'll be able to do it for a sample. Trust
me. I once had to drink an entire huge water bottle at the doctor's office &
stay extra time so that I could give a urine sample. Drink tons of water
beforehand, & hold it. If you have to go as soon as you get there they'll
let you pee in the cup first thing.
23. There's extra discharge that comes with
pregnancy. Lovely. Keep panty liners around. Just saying.
24. Mood swings are a billion times worse than
PMS. It's like PMS on steroids. I can be smiling & within 30 seconds want
everyone to jump off a skyscraper. Happened in nursery recently. But to be fair,
I was provoked. I was in charge & my three helpers were male. Gabe helped
when I asked him to but the other two stood chatting, & loudly, for about an
hour. They're lucky I didn't beat them with one of the toy phones or "Are You My
Mother?" I eventually had to tell Gabe to handle it. The two men then left
nursery, which I much preferred. I didn't want to have to beat anyone in front
of 9 impressionable children. & if they had stayed I would've said something
with rage tears spilling down my face.
25. You will cry about stupid things like your
dog eating your ice cream (true story) or simply because you realize that you've
cried multiple times that day (also done that).
26. There's always at least a small part of you
that's afraid something will go wrong & you'll lose the baby.
27. People say not to lay on your stomach, but
from my research it's only for comfort reasons. Particularly when your belly
gets big.
28. Laying on your belly is a really easy way
to feel the baby moving around early on.
29. Invest in pregnancy body pillow. You'll be
glad you did cause your back starts hurting early. Plus, from some of the
reviews I've read, particularly for mine, you can roll it up in an O shape &
sleep with your belly in the hole... so you can sleep on your belly if that's
how you're most comfortable.
30. You have the chance to do some screenings
at 12 weeks or so. I say don't do it. But obviously I'm not your boss. From what
I've been told, a lot of women get positive results but a large majority of
those turn out to be false positives. Why spend your pregnancy freaking out?
There's nothing you can do about it. & I can't speak for everyone, but I
know you wouldn't evacuate the pregnancy. I've seen tons of posts in online
forums of women freaking out about their scans & blood test results. It's
crazy.
31. For some reason women love to tell their
delivery horror stories when they talk to you about pregnancy. It's not
comforting in the slightest, even if they say something like "I was a rare
case," or "it probably won't happen to you." Try to ignore it. I'm lucky to know
a few women with good delivery stories so that's nice.
32. I haven't experienced this yet, but
apparently strangers will touch your belly without permission. I'm not exactly
sure how I would handle this situation. But I like to think that I'll be able to
say that I'm not pregnant to at least one of them & freak them out.
33. It's not uncommon for a stuffy nose to kick
in during the second trimester (thank you hormones). Happened to me a few weeks
ago. You can use a saline nasal spray. That's it.
34. A "bump" appears in your lower abdomen
almost overnight. But you'll probably be the only one that notices it.
35. Sucking it in as long as you can makes your
muscles tighter. Which means less flab! Which is good. I'm only just starting to
have problems sucking it in. But my muscles feel sore at the end of the day as
if I've worked them out, which I think is funny.
36. Constipation. Eat lots of fruit & drink
lots of water. That's all I'll say about that.
37. Leg cramps! Mine started about a week &
a half ago. It just started waking me up at night in the last few days though.
Don't be scared to ask your husband to rub it out for you. I've woken up Gabe to
do it cause I just can't. & from what I hear, they get worse.
38. Headaches. Apparently they're not uncommon
during pregnancy. Lucky me, since I'm prone to migraines already, I get them
nearly everyday now. It is totally safe to take a couple Tylenol. & do it
with caffeine cause it makes it work faster. If you're anything like me &
that's totally ineffective, ask your OBGYN about a prescription for Fioricet. It
never worked for me before, but I guess it's a miracle drug for me during
pregnancy.
39. Round ligament pains. Apparently it's from
the loosening & stretching of joints & things. I don't care what causes
it, all I care about is that it hurts. Now it's generally just a dull ache, but
when they first started...my goodness. They were so sharp & came on so fast
I would curl up in fetal position & tear up. We thought I might have
appendicitis. It was bad. That used to happen 5 or 6 times a day. Now that only
happens a few times a week, which isn't bad.
40. Seriously. Mood swings. Hahaha
41. Going to look at baby things is completely
overwhelming. It's a lot to take in. A lot. Brace yourself, take a deep breath,
& remember you can handle it. Even if it totally freaks you out, like it did
me.
42. If you're anything like me, you'll have an
even more intense need for love & understanding from your husband.
Especially when you've thrown up 6 times that morning, the trash smells so bad
you're having dry heaves, or you need something from the grocery store at 11pm.
& definitely when you're having a mental breakdown.
43. Your sense of smell is seriously amplified.
(I knew this. But it's totally different when you experience it.)
44. When it's your first, people, especially at
church, will constantly ask you how you're feeling. People you don't even think
you've met before. They all suddenly know who I am & care about my
well-being.
45. You're gonna crave random things especially
at times when they're not available to you. There have been multiple occasions
that Gabe has had to run out to get me something.
46. People will tell you that you won't make it
past 5 or 6 months wearing high heels to church. Yours truly will prove them
wrong. Clearly they don't know that my grandmother is Grandma Crazy Shoes. It's
in my blood.
47. My experience in the maternity ward is
limited to 24 hours, but I have a lot of experience in hospitals in general.
& with all that experience I find that the nurses in the maternity ward are
way nicer than the nursers elsewhere. By a lot. So take advantage of their
kindness & hospitality.
48. You'll be super excited about planning the
nursery or baby shower one minute & then flip a switch & suddenly be
freaking out about being a mom.
49. If you don't push it out, people will tell
you that you don't look 17 weeks pregnant...or however far you are before you
really start to show. I get it all the time. I suppose some really do show
early, especially women with multiples, but I'm willing to bet a lot give up
sucking it in, or just push it out. I guess no one really knows what 17 weeks
looks like. My sister-in-law still had abs at 16 weeks! I guess everyone is
different. Of course, this applies to the first pregnancy, cause after the first
you show sooner from what I've read.
50. Pregnancy brain is real. It's sad how many
times I've left my keys or my wallet in the house or elsewhere in the last week
& a half.
51. If you're in tune with your body, you can
feel the baby moving around in there earlier than people say is possible with
your first. Especially if you know what you're looking for. Laying on my back, I
could feel it a couple of times a week starting around 12 weeks. The doctor
confirmed that's what I was feeling. But it's a lot more prominent now.
52. Your baby's heartbeat is a wonderful
sound.
53. Dreams gradually get weirder, more intense,
& much more memorable.
54. You wake up a bajillion times a night to
pee in your first trimester. I hear this happens again in the third. &
getting out of bed then will be harder, too. Goodie.
55. If you're like me, you'll discover the
ability to get ready in 30 minutes or less (including feeding & taking out
the dog) just so you can get some extra sleep.
56. Your midsection gets tender when the uterus
moves up & forces things to move around.
57. Things you loved to eat, even a week ago,
may make you want to throw up now.
58. Again... mood swings are intense. & the
crying. My oh my.
59. Take advantage of your first pregnancy. The
next time you do it you'll have another child to take care of & won't get
this beautiful chance to be lazy again.
60. If you're one that handles pregnancy like a
champ, congratulations. I'm not. I wish I was, but it's hard. I can tolerate a
lot, & I've been through much worse than what I've experienced thus far, but
I'm not going to lie to you, it's a pain in the butt & it doesn't make it
any easier. It's a prolonged feeling of not feeling in control of your own body.
But remember that the Lord blessed you with this amazing miracle of creating
life in your belly. It seems like forever, but I know there's an end. & a
beautiful baby to come.
---- Additions to the list ----
61. Keep a copy of "What to Expect When You're Expeting" (the book, not the movie) around for when you have questions or weird symptoms. It's a really good source.
62. According to the above mentioned book, you can have 200mg of caffeine a day. Soda has about 35mg in a can. A lot of people say you can't have it at all. It's just that you shouldn't over do it. Overdoing anything is never a good thing anyway.
63. Melatonin is safe to take when you're pregnant. My brain doesn't make enough so I had to take supplements before I got pregnant. A lot of books & things say that you shouldn't take supplements, but my OB, & like three others, said that Melatonin is perfectly safe. I take 5mg & it really helps. I mean, I still wake up, but I'm dead to the world for at least 4 hours straight before I start waking up every hour.
64. Smells that make you nauseous during pregnancy may make you nauseous for the rest of your life. Or things that made you throw up.
65. Some women don't start showing until 5 months or so during their first pregnancy. I just ended my 4th month & I'm just starting to look pregnant enough for people to be able to tell. But barely. It's completely dependent on your shape... & if you're a girl that let's it go & pushes it out or not. Again, everyone's different!
---- Additions to the list ----
61. Keep a copy of "What to Expect When You're Expeting" (the book, not the movie) around for when you have questions or weird symptoms. It's a really good source.
62. According to the above mentioned book, you can have 200mg of caffeine a day. Soda has about 35mg in a can. A lot of people say you can't have it at all. It's just that you shouldn't over do it. Overdoing anything is never a good thing anyway.
63. Melatonin is safe to take when you're pregnant. My brain doesn't make enough so I had to take supplements before I got pregnant. A lot of books & things say that you shouldn't take supplements, but my OB, & like three others, said that Melatonin is perfectly safe. I take 5mg & it really helps. I mean, I still wake up, but I'm dead to the world for at least 4 hours straight before I start waking up every hour.
64. Smells that make you nauseous during pregnancy may make you nauseous for the rest of your life. Or things that made you throw up.
65. Some women don't start showing until 5 months or so during their first pregnancy. I just ended my 4th month & I'm just starting to look pregnant enough for people to be able to tell. But barely. It's completely dependent on your shape... & if you're a girl that let's it go & pushes it out or not. Again, everyone's different!
The end.
If there's anything about pregnancy that you
didn't know, or didn't listen to, please let me know! I'd definitely love to put
it on the list to send to her. & here. & to warn me!!!
Well. I hope you enjoyed the list.
-Alexa
